What’s your game plan when it all goes t*ts up
You are mooching along in life, doing your best. Trying to succeed whilst juggling work, home and health, when BOOM, it all comes crashing down around you.
That moment of heartbreak when you thought everything was going to be ok, you were on track, but no, this stupid thing happened and ruined it all. At that moment, what do you do?
Do you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with it? Or does it end up going around in your head causing you way more pain than it should?
If you are the latter then we have some good news for you.
First, you are not alone. Now call me sexist but I truly believe that women beat themselves up way more than our male counterparts. We find it so easy to be consumed with feelings of guilt and disappointment that sometimes the fear of failing and feeling those emotions stops us from really starting or committing in the first place.
Now you might be someone who has this nailed, self-esteem is high, confidence in check and that is great, if fact, we would love to know more about your coping techniques. However, if you are struggling we have put together our guide that helps us when things come crashing down. And we hope it helps.
It is in the past, you can’t change it. Remember that scene from Lion King where Rafiki is teaching the young cub how to move on and hits Simba over the head? The lesson we take is that whatever happened is in the past, it may still hurt, but you need to accept it first before you can learn from it.
Analyse your mistakes
If you listen to a lot of motivational people you will hear time and time again that it is only failure if you don’t learn something. There is zero chance of avoiding failure, from the moment you entered this world failure has been one of your best tools for learning. Why do we expect that to change as an adult?
Identify the lesson
Once you’ve worked out what went wrong, ask yourself why it went wrong. This isn’t a beat yourself up exercise, you need to stay objective. Even if that means holding your hand up and admitting your own faults. Equally, do not use this to cast blame. Do your best to not be emotional. If you find yourself slipping into that trap stop and revisit. Go for a run or a walk in the woods, whatever you do to chill out.
What will you do to avoid this in the future?
Now is the time to work out what you can do to stop this from happening again. What can you do differently? You might even work out a way to get things back on track. If you tend to get caught in a cycle of making the same mistake over and over, this is a vital step. Too many times we expect the situation to change but don’t look at what we need to do in order to make it happen.
As we have already mentioned, there is no escape. You cannot succeed at everything. Failure is certain. But that doesn’t mean you have failed, it just means that you now have the right experience to try again. One of the best tips I have heard is if you are really struggling to pick yourself up after a knock back, give yourself permission to do whatever it is really badly. Most of the time once you get to the end, you realise that you weren’t that bad after all.
We are all a work in progress. If you have any helpful tips and advice we would love to hear from you. Connect with us on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram